Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
