What a fucking waste of an outfit
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
