I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
