awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
