i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
