I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
