I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
