you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
