my sisters under your porch take her home
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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