tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
