I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
