Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
