I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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