that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
