Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Your penis caused this!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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