You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
