ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
