looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
