My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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