Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
honey bunches of taint.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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