when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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