i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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