Soap is not a condiment
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
