Sry I called you an 8
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
