just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
