its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
