i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
