Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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