I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
