So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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