Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
