your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
