I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
