we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
