ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
