Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
