Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
