Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
