Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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