is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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