As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
