Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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