I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
