Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
