in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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