I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize