please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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