Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
