i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
