I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize